


Dragon Season: Rejection

by Akiko_Natsuko



Series: Dragon Season [4]
Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Friendship/Love, Guilt, Heartbreak, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, M/M, Mating Bond, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Multi, Rejection
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-19
Updated: 2019-05-30
Packaged: 2019-10-11 06:06:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 16,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17441360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akiko_Natsuko/pseuds/Akiko_Natsuko
Summary: 'Dragons and their children have only one mate in their life. One opportunity, and if the chosen mate rejects them then they will live out their life alone.'It is not always as simple as that though, sometimes feelings take longer to form. For some it takes nearly having someone precious slip through your fingers, to realise that you can't lose them.





	1. Chapter 1

    It was early in the morning and after a particularly rambunctious party the night before the guild was a little quieter than usual, with many of the revellers either still abed or currently nursing a hangover. The only exception as always was Cana, who was sat at the bar, cards scattered in front of her and a fresh mug of ale at her side, despite Mira’s scolding when she’d ordered it. All in all, it was a perfectly normal day at Fairy Tail – perfectly normal that was if you ignored the deep, guttural growls echoing through the room at seemingly random intervals. Noises that were only growing louder and more frequent, to the point that even Cana had finally looked up from what she was doing to gaze askance at the two Dragon-slayers just as Natsu growled again, seemingly blind to his audience.

    At the other end of the bar, Lucy and Erza were joined by a worried Mirajane who had finally abandoned all pretence at trying to clean the bar, their gazes were drawn to Gajeel as it was his turn to growl.

“What are they growling about?” Lucy hissed, trying not to draw attention to them. She had been running late that morning, and she had walked into the guild in the middle of a particularly vicious snarl from Gajeel, and while his attack on her was long forgiven, the sound had sent her scurrying across to Erza for protection in case the noise turned into something more than a threat.

“I have no idea,” Mira replied, and there was an anxious note to her voice, her gaze moving from Gajeel who was currently slouched in the far corner, glaring around the hall with an irritated expression on his face that didn’t seem that different from his normal one. Across to Natsu, who was sat on the other side of the hall in his team’s usual booth, his head bowed and attention fixed on the table in front of him, and seemingly unaware of the many growls escaping him. “They don’t seem to be growling at one another though because there’s always a gap after one of them growls, and they’re not in a set pattern,” she added thoughtfully, having been keeping an eye on them all morning since this strange behaviour had begun. In fact, there had been no sign that the two were remotely interested in one another, not even their usual competitiveness, which was strange but also a relief, because she didn’t want to imagine the damage they could do if they were genuinely irritated with one another.

    However, that didn’t answer the question of what was going on with the pair, and as more people arrived, the rest of the guild was beginning to take notice of what was happening. It was slow, but gradually the rest of the guild were moving away from the Dragon-slayers, and newcomers were quickly waved to seats out of the direct path between the two. Everyone knew just how destructive the Dragon-slayers were capable of being, and with the tension growing in the air, there was no ignoring the growing potential for an explosion. Even Happy who was used to his partner’s destructiveness and who’d initially been sat with Natsu was moving away, flying across to sit beside Cana, eyeing the Fire mage with concerned eyes.

    It was in the middle of all this that the doors opened again, and Wendy stepped inside with Carla in tow, the pair of them chatting animatedly about something and seemingly blind to the tense atmosphere that they’d just walked into.

“Wendy!” Erza called, relieved to see the younger girl, hoping that as a Dragon-slayer she might have some idea of what was going on. Wendy jumped at the shout, glancing at Erza and opening her mouth, presumably to respond when she abruptly faltered, going completely still for a moment before she cautiously sniffed the air. Whatever she smelt made her wrinkle her nose, and not for the first time Erza wondered what it was like to have Dragon-slayer senses. However, that thought was forgotten as Wendy turned to look at Natsu and then Gajeel, frowning slightly before her expression cleared and she nodded thoughtfully. Seemingly satisfied with whatever she had learnt, she turned and headed towards Erza and the other mages who had gathered around the bar as it was a safe distance from the growling Dragon-slayers.

 

"Wendy, do you know what's wrong with them?" Lucy demanded as soon as Wendy reached them, ignoring the way Charla bristled at her tone, gesturing at Natsu and Gajeel. Before the younger girl could reply, Gajeel snarled, and the Celestial mage flinched, shrinking back slightly, although a quick glance showed that he didn’t seem to be focused on her.

"They're in season," Wendy explained cheerfully, only to blink as she was met with blank expressions as the others exchanged confused glances, her expression falling a little when she realised that they didn’t understand. Before she could try and think how to explain, she was cut off by another growl ringing out, and a quick glance told her that Natsu was the guilty party this time and she frowned again, tapping a finger against her chin. “Gajeel-san is about the right age, but I would’ve thought that Natsu-san would take a little longer. Maybe it’s because they’re in such close proximity,” she mused, glancing across at Gajeel.

“I…What do you mean?” Lucy began, then changed what she was going to say, unable to hide her curiosity although she was a little hesitant about whether she really wanted to know the answer. In ‘season’? That wasn’t a word that you usually thought about in relation to people, she mused, but then again it might be fitting in this situation she thought as another growl rang out.

“Male dragons rarely spend a lot of time in close proximity, especially during mating season, as they can set one another off,” Wendy explained, drawing everyone’s attention back to her. “It doesn’t happen often, but it can be awful, especially if both want the same mate. Grandine said that those battles were horrific and usually fatal.” Her voice had dropped off, and it was only when she looked up and saw the alarmed expressions on her guild mate’s faces that she realised where their thoughts had gone. “That’s not the case here though! Look at how they’re staying away from one another that wouldn’t happen if they going to fight,” she added hastily, holding up her hands placatingly, almost able to feel the sigh of relief that went through the group. None of the older members had forgotten the battle between Gajeel and Natsu during the Phantom Lord troubles, it had been awe-inspiring to watch, but it had been destructive enough, and the mere thought of an all-out, to-the-death battle between the two was terrifying.

“If that’s the case why are they growling so much?” Erza asked, her gaze focused on Natsu as she spoke. His growls seemed to have grown in volume, far more than Gajeel’s had, and at this point, he was growling nearly continuously she realised, although his attention seemed to be riveted to the table in front of him, although she knew better to think that he wasn’t aware of them. It was making her nervous, and even though Gajeel’s growls were more spaced out, they were just as intense at Natsu’s, and a small part of her wondered if Wendy was wrong and they were going to lunge at one another at any moment.

    Wendy tilted her head, startled by the question as the answer seemed shockingly clear to her, but Erza seemed earnest, so she shrugged. “It’s just their way of warning people away from their mates,” she explained matter-of-factly, not sure what to make of the shocked expressions that greeted her words or the way everyone was looking between the two older Dragon-slayers.

"Mates?" The entire group started at the new voice, having not noticed Gray joining the group and the Ice mage scowled at them. However, it wasn’t long before all eyes had returned expectantly to Wendy, who sighed as it dawned on her that right now she was the only one here who had any idea of what was going on. Privately she wished that the Master was around, after all, he seemed to know most things, and he would be better suited to answering the questions they seemed to have, but Makarov was away at a conference, so she supposed that it did fall to her and she grimaced, almost wishing she had stayed in bed.

      Claiming a chair, because there was no way she was standing to do this, especially when most of her listeners towered above her, she wracked her brains for the best way to explain what was happening to them. To her, it was just part of being a Dragon-slayer, a part of life, and it had never really occurred to her that other people might not grasp that part of them. “Mating season is one of the most important times in a Dragon’s life,” she began, swallowing at the sensation of being the centre of attention, before squaring her shoulders as she continued. “Dragons mate for life and that was one of the traits that was passed on to us Dragon-slayers. Once we find our desire mate, it becomes a case of them or no one else.”

“But…”

“When Dragons or Dragon-slayers go into season, they have approximately a week to a week and a half to claim their mate,” Wendy continued, not sure who had tried to interrupt but wanting to get everything out before she dealt with questions. “If they don’t claim them, or worse, if their chosen mate rejects the bond, then they lose their chance, and they will remain unbonded for the rest of their life.” Her expression grew sorrowful at this part, and she had to look down. Grandine had been rejected by her chosen mate a long time before Wendy had come along, and her foster-mother had always seemed lonely, the pain of that rejection having never left her, although Grandine had never let it hold her back.  “It’s a lonely life if that happens…”

“What happens if they haven’t found a…mate? Does that even happen?” Lucy asked hesitantly, feeling herself blushing. There was something about all this that felt intensely private, and she couldn’t help but think they shouldn’t be asking, that this was too much information, even as she wanted to find out more so that she could help her friends. It didn’t help, that she was finding it odd to think that Natsu – who normally had to be one of the most oblivious boys she had ever met, was one of the ones going through this. She knew he wasn’t as idiotic as he often pretended to be, but there was always a part of him that seemed totally oblivious to the idea of dating and romance and settling down with someone.

“It does happen, and if it does, then they will just be really irritable for the length of their season, and they will go into season every year until they do find their mate,” Wendy replied, before smiling as she glanced between the other two Dragon-slayers. “However, I don’t think that’s something we need to worry about, as from the way they’re acting, they’ve both chosen someone.” As though to emphasise her point another series of growls rang out.

    Silence greeted that display and her proclamation, as those closest to Natsu and Gajeel swiftly moved away and Wendy rolled her eyes. Unless they directly interfered or did something to whoever the pair had chosen, then the rest of the guild was in no danger. It was Erza who broke the silence as she glanced across at Levy who had joined them, no doubt worried about Gajeel’s strange behaviour, and a smile crept across the Requip Mage’s face. “Well, I would say that Gajeel’s choice is obvious enough.” Her pointed look was enough to make Levy turn bright red, waving her hands in nervous denial as she backed up under the sudden scrutiny that Erza’s words had bought down on her.

"W-what do you mean?" Levy asked, her voice catching and further proving Erza’s claim, even before the red-head reached out and pushed Gray a few steps closer to Levy. The effect was immediate, as a particularly loud growl rang out from Gajeel’s direction and seeing the dark eyes that were now fixed on him, Gray immediately scrambled back, glaring at Erza who merely smirked before arching an eyebrow at Levy.

“He’s been growling everytime someone steps too close to you,” Erza explained, silencing the entire group and causing more than one person to gape at her, startled that she had been able to pick up on that while being in the centre of the discussions. “Besides, it makes sense. You’ve been going out for a while now haven’t you?”

    If Levy hadn’t been red before, she certainly was now, eyes flicking towards Gajeel for a moment before she looked down and gave a tiny nod. She didn’t know how Erza had found out about that as they had been trying to keep it quiet, and with so many eyes on them, she decided that she didn’t want to know. Instead, she took a moment just to breathe, to try and ignore the fact that she was currently the centre of attention as she weighed up what Wendy had said, finally, lifting her head to look across at the younger girl. “Once in a lifetime chance?” It wasn’t that she was sure about her choice, but she wanted to know what lay ahead of them and what weight her next actions would carry. Wendy nodded nervously, glancing between Levy and the watchful Gajeel in the distance, feeling very much out of depth, but she needn’t have worried because a beautiful smile crept across Levy’s face.

   Without a word to anyone else, Levy straightened, squaring her shoulders before pushing through the group and marching across to Gajeel whose attention had snapped to her the moment she began to move. His next growl catching in his throat as she approached, and she closed the distance between them, capturing his lips in a quick, but fierce kiss, silencing the growl entirely as his eyes widened. It had also silenced the rest of the guild, and Levy threw them a cheeky grin and wave as she pulled back, before she held out a hand to Gajeel, heaving him up when he finally nervously accepted it and leading him out of the Guildhall, neither of them looking back.

“Well, I suppose that’s one way of doing it,” Lucy muttered under her breath, stunned by her usually shy friend’s boldness. Still, she was happy for her and looking forward to the gossip she’d be able to get later, and she had to bite back a grin as she glanced across at Jet and Droy who was staring, open-mouthed after their team member. They seemed to recover after a moment, but then she realised they were whispering to each other about what they would do to Gajeel if he hurt ‘their’ Levy, and she hoped for their sake that they never felt the need to try and carry out those threats because Gajeel would make mincemeat of them.

“Well that.’s Gajeel taken care of, but what about Natsu?” Erza asked, turning her attention back to the other Dragon-slayer who was still growling, although he seemed to still be wrapped up in his own world. “He isn’t seeing anyone at the moment is he?” She glanced at Lucy as she said this, honestly curious this time, although there was a small smile playing around her lips.

 “Me?” Lucy demanded. “Why are you looking at me like that?” No-one answered, but they didn’t need to as she glanced around and saw that everyone was staring at her now, and she blushed, easily rivalling Levy’s from earlier as she urgently shook her head. “No way, we’re just friends.” She glanced around, searching for a distraction and her eyes lit up as her gaze landed on Mirajane. “What about Lisanna? He’s known her a lot longer than he’s known me.”

“Lisanna isn’t here though,” Mira replied, tilting her head towards Natsu as he growled again. “She left three days ago with Elfman to do a job, and from what Wendy said, his mate should be someone who's in the guild right now based on his behaviour.” The group groaned – those had been the two names at the top of everyone’s list of people that Natsu seemed vaguely interested in. Vaguely, being the world – because most of them had assumed that Natsu was either completely unaware of girls based on his sometimes stupid behaviour around them or at least unaware of them in that sense.

"Wendy?" Cana suggested, purely as a joke, looking up from her tankard for a moment, and grinning when Wendy squeaked and turned bright red. However, she was the one to choke when a moment later someone suggested that it was her.

     The group whispered and muttered amongst themselves, bouncing names and possibilities around as they tried to work out whose Natsu’s growls were aimed at, a seemingly impossible task as the growls were constant now. In the hubbub they failed to notice Gray slipping away from the group, having refused to contribute any names to the discussion, and they missed the way he glanced at Natsu and the disgruntled…almost unhappy expression on his face as he slipped out of the door. All of them, apart from Mira that was, who had noted both his departure and the fact that Natsu had actually fallen silent for a moment, and when she glanced across at the Dragon-slayer, she saw that his head had come up and he was staring at the door. He remained taut for a minute before he slumped back in his seat, head bowed again.

    Mira was torn between a desire to squeal with delight, and go across and give the Fire mage a shove in the right direction, but considering what Wendy had been saying, she had a feeling that wouldn’t go across too well. Trusting that they would sort it out, she turned back to the discussion that was still raging around her, a secretive smile on her lips even as she shook her head at the obliviousness of Natsu’s best friends.

*

    Contrary to appearances, Natsu wasn’t blind to what was going on around him, unable to avoid the discussion on the far side of the guild with his sharp hearing. It irritated him, not only because this was his mate…his business, not theirs, and because no one seemed to have realised where his interests lay, or the reason why he was sitting here, trapped by raging doubts and thoughts. It didn’t help that Gajeel had acknowledged his chosen and been accepted in turn – although he wouldn’t have wished for it to go the other way, even if Gajeel had still been his enemy.

_That kind_ _of loneliness…_

    He shuddered, he wouldn’t wish that on his worst enemy. And didn’t that just highlight how hopeless his own situation was? Irate, he got to his feet and headed for the door, trying to ignore the scent that called so enticingly to him as he followed it’s path, unable to bear the thought of staying around other people when he felt like this. He knew that the answer was to accept what was happening and talk to his chosen, but he couldn’t do it. There was too much at stake, and he couldn’t bear the thought of losing his friendship with his mate. He would just go home and hide out there for the rest of the week until this was all over, and then they could all go back to how it was…and how it would always be.

***  
    The next morning found Erza, Lucy and Happy following the path up to Natsu’s house, the latter having spent the night with Wendy and Carla after the youngest Dragon-slayer had pulled him aside and suggested that Natsu might need some time. He hadn’t been happy about leaving his partner alone given the situation, but he hadn’t argued, realising that this was beyond his experience. However, now he was beginning to regret that decision especially when Erza knocked on the door when they reached it, and there was no response from within. The three of them exchanged worried looks, and the Requip mage knocked for the second time, a third and a fourth time.

“Natsu? Natsu let us in!” She called on the last one, scowling when there was still no response, knowing that there was no way Natsu wouldn’t be able to hear her. Sharing a glance with Lucy, she reached for her sword, determined to break down the door if she needed to. They’d all be alarmed to realise that he’d disappeared from the guild the day before, somewhat ashamed that they had been so caught up in guessing who his mate was that they hadn’t noticed, but they had decided to give him a day to hopefully get himself together…and to stop growling. However, now it appeared more and more like they had made the wrong decision, and her fingers tightened on the hilt of her sword, just as there was a shout from inside the house.

“Go away!”  They all froze, stunned. Natsu never denied Erza. Never. Even Gray had rebelled more than the Dragon-slayer ever had in front of their friend’s wrath, and there was a sinking feeling that this was only just the beginning.

“Natsu…” Lucy started, hoping to intervene before the two could come to blows, but she had barely got a word out before a fierce snarl rang out from inside. She stumbled back, eyes wide as she stared at the door, half expecting either Natsu or flames to come erupting out of it. This wasn’t the Natsu she knew, unable to remember a time when he had lashed out at any of them with real anger, and she found herself backing up another step.

“I said go away,” his voice was little more than a growl now, and they were startled by the raw emotion they could detect in his voice, a desperation that they had never heard from him before and they exchanged an uneasy glance. “I don’t want to see anyone.” Before they could formulate a response, they heard movement on the far side of the door, followed by the sound of a door slamming somewhere inside, marking his retreat deeper into the house.

    Happy mewed softly, before darting up and round to the window that was usually left open so he could come and go if he was flying, coming up short when he found it was shut. He’d known that Natsu had to be aware he was with the girls, knowing just how good his partner’s sense of smell was and his ears dropped as he drifted back down to the others. He could almost understand Natsu ignoring them, but ignoring him? Shutting him out? He was scared, and he made no effort to hide it as he informed them of the situation, drooping further when they looked more worried than ever. “What are we going to do? He shouldn’t be alone!”

“I think that we should tell the Master about what is happening,” Erza replied after a moment, tapping her fingers against the sword for a moment before finally releasing it, realising that bursting in wasn’t going to help right now. Normally, she wouldn’t have hesitated, but there was something in what Wendy had been saying that made her nervous to do anything that could make the situation worse for the Fire Mage. “He might have more information about what is going on, and how we can help.” _I hope,_ she added silently. However, Makarov had been one of the first to believe Natsu about being a Dragon-slayer when he was younger, and she knew that he would’ve done some research into it in case anything happened. Which might mean he had some extra insight, that even Wendy was missing because while she was a Dragon-slayer, she was a lot younger than the others and her information came from years before, from a Dragon that had now disappeared.

    Gajeel would generally have been there go to, but he and Levy had yet to reappear after yesterday, and they had the sense not to try and disturb them. That and Wendy had almost growled at them when they had half-heartedly suggested it earlier that morning.

    Happy worried at his bottom lip, not entirely sure that involving someone else would help the current situation and not liking the idea that they were going to lose more time in finding Makarov and explaining what was happening. Natsu was on his own, something that the Dragon-slayer hated with a passion, but the Exceed couldn’t see any other options, and after a moment he nodded, floating down to land on the doorstep. “I’m going to stay here in case Natsu decides he wants to come out or to talk,” he explained, curling up on the step, the very picture of feline concern. Erza nodded and offered him what she hoped was a reassuring smile, knowing that he had to be even more worried than they were, as it was unheard of for Natsu to shut him out entirely like this. Even their most heated spats had never lasted more than a couple of quarrels, and she couldn’t shake the feeling that this was going to last longer.

“We’ll be as quick as we can,” she promised, before gesturing for Lucy to follow her, not missing the nervous glance the other girl shot at the door or the speed at which she followed.

*

    The two girls were quiet as they walked away from the house, waving farewell to the lonely figure of Happy on the doorstep before they passed out of sight. Once they were in the clear, Lucy took a deep breath and glanced at the sky, trying to bury the unwelcome fear that Natsu’s snarl had triggered, and when she felt calmer, she glanced across at Erza. “I wonder why Natsu won’t let on who his mate is?” Admittedly, she hadn’t known about Levy and Gajeel, but she had a feeling that even if Erza hadn’t called the Solid-Script mage out, the pair wouldn’t have waited long to resolve the situation, but she couldn’t understand how they hadn’t worked out who Natsu was interested in. Or why he hadn’t said anything or apparently approached anyone.

“I’m not sure.” Erza’s reply had been quick, but she seemed to hesitate before her shoulders shook under the force of her sigh. “But Natsu has always been shy about stuff like that, so maybe it’s just that?”

“Shy?” Lucy echoed, unable to hide her disbelief, thinking of all the times that Natsu had climbed into her bed without invitation, or walked in on her and seen things he most definitely shouldn’t have seen. He had always seemed oblivious, and she couldn’t recall him ever blushing or being genuinely awkward about it, and even Gray had shown more awareness than the Dragon-slayer, and he was usually blind to Juvia’s infatuation.

“Natsu doesn’t like to talk about relationships or emotions beyond friendship,” Erza continued after a moment, seemingly ignoring the question, but then she paused and glanced at Lucy with an amused smile. “Most of the time he really is oblivious.” Lucy ducked her head, feeling caught out, but then again it was Natsu they were talking about, and they’d both had plenty of experience with his denseness. “However, I think the main reason is more to do with his childhood.”

“What…?”

“Natsu has no idea what happened to his real parents, and Igneel left him,” Erza murmured, remembering how many times she had watched Natsu running out of the guild, chasing down the slightest rumour that might lead him to his foster-father and she closed her eyes. “I think that part of him is afraid of admitting how he feels, in case this other person…his mate, leaves him behind as well. It’s a fear that’s never really left him, despite how close he is to everyone in the Guild.” That thought made her falter – he had his reasons, maybe they were doing the wrong thing in going for help? Yet, she couldn’t forget her concern or the sight of Happy’s dejected form as he realised that Natsu had locked him out and she ruthlessly suppressed her doubts. Valid fears or not, they needed to do something to help.

    Lucy, on the other hand, was nodding thoughtfully at what Erza had just said. It made her sad to imagine what Natsu had gone through, and what he must be feeling now because of it. However, she still couldn’t really understand not wanting to pursue the person you wanted to be with, especially with everything that was at stake with him being a Dragon-slayer. None of them had missed the emphasis Wendy had put on the consequences of failure, or the sorrow in her eyes as she’d spoken about it, and the thought of that happening to Natsu… she shuddered, wrapping her arms around herself.

_Natsu, why are you ignoring this?_

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

The world was on fire.

    Natsu was a creature of fire, a child of it, and right now he felt as though he was burning up. It was a strange experience, as fire usually never felt hot to him and yet now it scorched him, burning a path over his skin and threatening to devour him with each shuddering breath.

   The groan that slipped free as he staggered towards the kitchen, blearily thinking about finding something to cool him down, was more an overheated gasp than anything and the world seemed to blur and fade in and out of focus around him. _It was too hot._ He had been feeling increasingly ill over the last four days, but nothing like this sick, all-consuming fire that seemed to be lancing a path through every inch of his body. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he could recall Igneel telling him that this would happen if he stayed away from his chosen mate when he finally went into Season, and he knew the solution, the one thing that would quench the fire, but he couldn’t risk it.

No, he wouldn’t risk it.

    He’d rather endure this heat. This pain. Than risk speaking up and losing the other mage’s friendship, over something that neither of them had expected…that neither of them had chosen. _I would though,_ even as he railed against the unfairness of it all, he couldn’t deny that thought. He couldn’t deny that his draconic side had known precisely what he wanted, and who he wanted. However, that didn’t mean he would give in to that side of himself, because while losing Igneel had hurt more than anything he had ever experienced, he had managed to keep going, to keep moving even with the questions and lack of answers hovering over his head. He didn’t think he would be able to do the same if gambled and lost on what – who, his draconic side was calling for, and so he took a deep breath, and faced the flames.

_It hurts, but it could be worse. I could lose him._

   The mantra wasn’t as effective as he wanted, and his steps grew increasingly wobbly as he headed for the sink, eyes locked on the water that he could see dripping from the tap. He was supposed to have fixed that… _Happy had asked, hadn’t he?_ He blinked, confused, reaching out to grab the sideboard to try and steady himself, his thoughts darting around like wild fireflies, agitated by the drip, drip, drop noise coming from the sink. _Water, I…_ He had managed to marshall his thoughts for a second, but the room was starting to spin around him in crazy, disorientating circles and he was forced to halt, leaning heavily on the side, blinking rapidly as he tried to get the world to settle down, stomach churning wildly and bile built up on his tongue.

_The train had just lurched forwards, and Natsu had barely had a chance to blink before his stomach had swayed in a different direction and he could feel himself turning green as nausea threatened to overwhelm him. Just once, he thought bitterly as he squeezed his eyes shut…Just once I want to get on one of these things and not feel sick, and…_

_“Easy…” The voice wasn’t unexpected, because as much as his friends teased and grumbled about his travel sickness, they all had their own ways of trying to help him. Some more effective, and gentle than others. However, what did surprise him was the coolness that blossomed against his skin, and it took his frazzled mind a moment to realise that cold fingers were brushing over his forehead and moving to push his hair out of the way, a tantalising scent of pine-cones and winter snow tickling his nose._

    Natsu blinked, opening his eyes, not sure when he had closed them. The memory which had always been a fond one, a moment that he had reminisced on in snatched moments. Now though, it sent a wave of disappointment through him, because there was no chill touch against his burning forehead and no familiar scent soothing him. However, the world had settled a little and taking a deep breath, and he turned his attention back to the sink, staggering as he tried to head towards it, the room beginning to spin around him in crazy circles. His stomach lurched violently, and for a moment he thought he was going to vomit and he halted, clinging to the side, blinking rapidly as he tried to get his bearings.

    It took a few minutes for the world to right itself, slowly settling onto an even keel again, and eventually, he felt like it was safe to move again and he took an unsteady step forward. However, he had barely moved before his legs gave way beneath him, sending him to the floor with a sharp cry.

   Wincing he tried to push himself back up, but the world was on the move again, and after a few seconds he slumped back in defeat. The floor felt cold against his burning skin, and a small sigh of relief escaped him as he pressed himself against it. He knew that he should get up, that in truth he really needed help, but at that moment he lacked the strength or will to get up again. With a low whimper of pain, he wearily let his eyes flutter shut, closing out the ever moving room and allowing the threatening shadows overwhelm him and drive back the flames.

   It had been four days since the guild had first learnt about Dragon-slayers going into season, and the fact that two out of their free Slayers were currently going through it. And in that time Gray had mainly hidden out at home, as the second day had been filled with more speculation and debate about who Natsu’s mate could be. It wasn’t that he didn’t care after all the flame-brained idiot was one of his best friends, and Wendy’s words had been alarming, to say the least, he just hadn’t enjoyed all the speculation or the attempts to drag him into the discussion. Which was why he had just avoided the guild entirely for the last few days, something that he never enjoyed, the four walls of his flat less appealing when he didn’t have the guild to hang out at.

    His mood had deteriorated further, when none of his teammates had shown up in that time, not bothering to check on him or drag him off on a job. The latter was surprising as he was sure that Lucy’s rent was due soon, and as he had been partially responsible for the destruction they’d had to pay for on their last job, he had been waiting to make up for it and it was making him nervous, because Erza at least wouldn’t have forgotten that fact.

   However, despite his reluctance, after four days with no company and apparently no sign of a job, Gray found himself emerging from his self-imposed exile and reluctantly heading towards the guild building. Despite his best efforts, he found his thoughts wandering as he made his way there, wondering if Natsu had worked out whatever issues he had and approached his chosen mate and if the mystery person had responded. He hoped so, and not just because it meant that he wouldn’t have to face the debates again.

    It was early enough for the guild to still be relatively empty, and a quick glance was all that it took to show him that there was no sign of the girls. However, it was the absence of a certain pink-haired idiot that really caught his attention and fanned to life the flicker of concern that he had been trying to ignore, because it was virtually unheard of for Natsu not to be at the guild unless they were out on a job or recovering from an injury. It occurred to him briefly that maybe Natsu was off somewhere with his mystery mate, as much as he didn’t want to think about it, but the thought was short-lived as he glanced around again, this time spotting Gajeel sat in the far side of the guild. The Iron Dragon-slayer was sat beside Levy who was busy thumbing through a book, an almost happy expression on his face as the little mage curled against his side and Gray scowled. If Gajeel was already back in the guild, then it didn’t seem likely that Natsu, who lived and breathed Fairy Tail would still be absent.

_Unless something was wrong…_

    It was harder than he cared to admit to burying that worrying thought, and he his scowl deepened as he headed towards the bar, hoping that maybe he could get answers. Although, he had to admit, privately at least that he was relieved that it didn’t seem as though was going to be subjected to a continuation of the ‘guess who Natsu likes game’. Shaking his head, he made a beeline for the request board, figuring that if the others weren’t going to need him for a few days, then he could possibly squeeze in a short job first. After all, it felt like forever since he’d done a solo job and as much as he enjoyed being on the team, even if it meant putting up with Natsu more often, he missed the days when all he’d had to worry about was his own magic.

    As he scanned the board, he missed the fact that Mira who had been busy behind the bar when he’d first entered had paused and was now watching him with a frown. She hadn’t said anything about her suspicions, even when there was no sign of either Gray or Natsu returning to the guild, and as she studied him now, she was glad that she’d held his tongue. There was a trace of irritation in his face, and she had caught the brief worry when he had first entered and realised that Natsu wasn’t there, but there were none of the emotions she had suspected, and she worried at her bottom lip. Had his disquiet about the discussion been because he was annoyed by the gossip, rather than a case of not knowing what to do about reciprocated feelings?

    She had been so certain…no, she was sure that was where Natsu’s focus had been that day, and there was a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach as she remembered Wendy’s words and the dire warning of what would happen if the situation wasn’t resolved in time. _Natsu._ She didn’t want the Dragon-Slayer to suffer, and she slipped out from behind the bar and headed towards the Ice Mage, running over things to say as she did so, not wanting to say something anything too blatant in case she was wrong.

“Gray,” she called as she reached him, managing a somewhat forced smile as he turned towards her with a nod of greeting. “Have you tried visiting Natsu at all?” She asked, and he frowned, irritation flashing across his face.

“No, why would I?” There was genuine confusion in his question, which did nothing to ease the sinking sensation, and from the corner of her eye, she watched as Gajeel straightened, crimson eyes now watching them intently.  “I didn’t think any of us could help in the current situation.” That was one of the things that rankled him he realised, not liking the idea one of his friends was struggling, and that there was nothing that he could do to help.

“I’m not sure about that,” Mira replied carefully, relieved to see the worry that had chased the irritation from his face. “He’s your friend, isn’t he? And Lucy and Erza have to see the Master about the situation, so there’s no one else for him to turn to at the moment.” She knew that she had him when she’d mentioned that the others were gone, and was pleased that he hadn’t asked about Happy, not ready to admit that the Dragon-slayer was so far gone at the moment that he wouldn’t even talk to his best friend. If she did, then she knew that Gray would refuse to go, ignoring the small voice in the back of her mind that said that maybe it was better if he didn’t.

“Fine,” Gray huffed, running a hand through his hair, wondering why it was just as difficult to hold against Mira as it was against Erza. “I’ll go and see him.” He was rewarded with a dazzling smile from Mira before he found himself being gently ushered away from the request board and towards the doors, sighing as it dawned on him that she wanted him to go right away. “If he growls at me, it’s your fault,” he grumbled, even as he obediently turned and headed for the door.

**

   Not for the first time, Gray cursed the fact that Natsu had decided to live outside the town, as he was breathing heavily as he finally reached the end of the garden path, having run most of the way there. _Idiotic piece of flame,_ he thought, but there was no real sense of heat to the thought, especially when he caught a flash of blue out of the corner of his eye and realised that Happy was sat curled up on the doorstep, looking absolutely miserable. _What the hell are you playing at Flamebrain?_ He thought as he glanced up at the house, unable to imagine what could’ve happened to have the Exceed locked out of the house.

“Happy!” He called, unable to see any sign of life in the house and not wanting to burst in on Natsu without a little more information. The Exceed’s head snapped up at the sound of his voice, and Gray’s expression darkened as he took in the unhappy expression on Happy’s face and the concern in the wide eyes that met his gaze before glancing hopefully behind him.

 “Gray?” Happy looked confused by the fact that he was alone but relieved to see anyone as he sprang into the air and flew across to meet him. “What are you doing here? Have the girls come back with the Master?” He demanded as he reached the Ice mage, a hopeful expression crossing his face although the concern never dimmed.

“I’ve come to see Natsu,” Gray answered halting for a moment to catch his breath, a little bit offended that Happy seemed so confused to see him. Sure, he was mainly here because of Mira, but it wasn’t as though he didn’t care about the Flamebrain or as if he had ignored previous injuries and illness, and he scowled, before taking a deep breath as he answered the other question. “The girls aren’t back yet as far as I know, but it’s going to take them a while as the conference is further away this time.” He couldn’t entirely stifle a wicked grin as he added that last bit, as he had a feeling that the Masters had chosen the location for its remoteness and distance from Fairy Tail after what happened at the previous meeting. He spared a brief thought for how Makarov was going to react when Lucy and Erza turned up, almost wishing that he was there to see it.

“Natsu still won’t let me inside,” Happy cut across his darkening thoughts, although the words did little to improve his mood as he focused on the Exceed once more. “And I haven’t heard him moving about, so I don’t know what he’s doing or if he’s even all right.” Happy added as he glanced back up at the house, his ears and wings drooping.

“It’s going to be all right Happy,” Gray murmured, trying to sound reassuring, despite his scowl growing as he followed the Exceed’s gaze. This went beyond what he had imagined, and now he was becoming irritated with Natsu as well as the situation, as he glanced back at Happy’s defeated posture. Enough was enough, he thought as he headed for the door, wishing that he believed his own words, and if there was a little too much force to his knocks as he pounded on the door then at least Happy was kind enough not to comment.

   He paused for a moment, craning his head to listen for a response and after a few minutes of silence he repeated the action before waiting once more, but there was no sign that anyone was even home and he growled under his breath. “Fine, if you want to play it that way,” he muttered, reaching out and placing his hands on either side of the lock, letting his magic flare and watching as ice crept over the wood, and seeped into the lock. He spared a brief glance at Happy, but while the Exceed looked uncertain he made no move to stop the Ice mage, and Gray took that as permission as he took a half-step back before lashing out at the frozen part of the door. There was a screeching noise, and then it buckled, shattering under the force of the impact.

“Gray…” Happy mewed behind him, but the protest was weak at best as the door swung open, finally offering a chance to get inside and check on his partner. If he was honest, he had expected Erza to break down the door when she had been growled at, and while he worried about how Natsu would react to the door being broken, he was more relieved than anything.

 “Come on,” Gray called as he pushed the door open, waiting until he felt the breeze from Happy’s wings before he stepped over the threshold.

**

    The air inside was warm. It usually was when Natsu was around, but there was something off about the heat today as it prickled against Gray’s skin, and it wasn’t just their magic clashing, and he shuddered, fighting the urge to recoil under the oppressive sensation.

“Flamebrian?!” He called instead, forcing himself to move further inside, followed closely by an uncharacteristically quiet Happy.  As he glanced around, feeling sweat building on his forehead, he absently noted how tidy the house was – remembering how surprised he had been the first time he had come out here to visit Natsu. The Dragon-slayer was always causing so much havoc at the guild, and so much destruction when they were on jobs, that he had always expected his house to be a bombsite, but instead it had been the exact opposite.

    The house remained silent, the heat seeming to curl around them, increasing with each breath he took and he exchanged a worried glance with Happy as he moved further down the hallway. He stuck his head in the first doorway, but the living room was empty, and he growled, sure that Natsu must’ve heard them entering. _If he’s hiding…_ However, that thought trailed off, overwhelmed by the surge of panic that engulfed him when he turned and glanced towards the kitchen, just able to make out familiar sandals from his current angle. “Natsu!” He shouted, clipping his shoulder on the door frame in his haste to get to the kitchen, only to come to an abrupt halt as he found himself staring down at Natsu’s crumpled form.

    The Dragon-slayer looked awful, and Gray could feel what until now had been a complicated mix of concern and irritation blossoming into full-blown fear as he took a cautious step into the room, barely aware of Happy’s horrified gasp from behind him. “Natsu…” The Fire mage was deathly pale, and his entire face was covered with a heavy sheen of sweat, and he seemed to be struggling for each breath, panting heavily, and there was pain etched into every line of his face. _Flamebrain…_ Gray forced himself to move, closing the distance between them in quick, unsteady steps and dropping to his knees so that he could reach out to lay a hand on Natsu’s forehead, recoiling at the heat coming from the Dragon-slayer. Natsu had always been warm, often unbelievably hot to the Ice mage, but this was something more, something dangerous and overwhelming and Gray could feel his fear beginning to morph into terror as he watched the ragged rise and fall of the other’s chest.

 “Natsu?” He called, watching desperately for some sign that the Dragon-slayer knew that he was there. “Flamebrain, can you hear me?” The insult, which had become more of an endearment than anything over the years never failed to get a response from Natsu, but today there was nothing and Gray rocked back on his heels, forcing himself to take a deep, steadying breath as he tried to fight back the strange panic that was threatening to strangle him.

“Happy,” he said once he felt more in control, turning to look at Happy who had landed behind him, staring at Natsu with wide, terrified eyes and looking every inch his age at the moment. Gray waited for Happy to look at him, trying to marshal some kind of reassuring smile but certain that it must be closer to a grimace at the moment. “We need Wendy, can you fetch her?” He hated to ask, knowing that Happy would want to stay at Natsu’s side, but he was faster than Gray was, and he didn’t know how much longer Natsu could hold out under this heat. Happy hesitated for a moment, staring longingly at Natsu before nodding and springing into the air, darting out of the door faster than Gray had seen him move in a long time, and he just hoped that it would be enough.

    Gray remained where he was for a few more seconds, collecting himself, before he forced himself to move, knowing that neither of them could afford for him to fall apart right now. The kitchen wasn’t the best place to deal with this either, and he carefully scooped Natsu up in his hands, staggering a little under his weight as he got to his feet. He almost expected Natsu to start awake then, but there was no reaction to the fact that he was being carried by the ‘Ice Princess’ and his arms tightened around the burning figure, holding him close as he carefully carried him up through the house to the bedroom. It felt strange to be in here without an invite, but they didn’t have much choice at the moment, and Gray buried his uneasiness as he settled Natsu on the bed, not daring to risk the hammock at the moment even though he knew it was the Dragon-slayers preferred place to sleep.

    Natsu lay where he was put, chest rising and falling in ragged motions and mouth open as he panted heavily and Gray swallowed. It was an unnerving sight, seeing the Dragon-slayer so still and unresponsive, even when he pulled the covers up and over him, tucking him in before settling on the edge beside him. And there was a slight tremble to his fingers as he reached out, pushing through the heat to lay his hand over Natsu’s feverish brow, letting ice form around his fingers as he tried to do what he could to bring the fever down until Wendy got there, hopefully with answers.

    He wasn’t sure how long he had been sitting there, continually replenishing the ice around his fingers as Natsu’s heat burnt through it, but he jolted violently when the quiet which had only been punctuated by the Fire mage’s ragged breathing was broken. “G-Gray…” It was little more than a whisper, but Gray’s gaze shot down hopefully, only to be disappointed as he realised that Natsu was still out of it, although he seemed to have shifted, leaning into Gray’s touch as some of the lines in his face eased. It wasn’t enough by far, but it was something, and Gray felt his lips twitching, absently reaching out with his free hand to brush bedraggled pink hair out of Natsu’s face, running his fingers through the mattered strands.

     As he continued his ministrations, it occurred to him that this was the first time that he had ever seen Natsu really ill. Oh, there had been the usual colds and sniffles that came from having a group of children running wild together, and there were Natsu’s frequent but short-lived bouts of motion-sickness, and of course the numerous injuries he acquired through their work, but nothing like this. And it was disturbing to see him like this and realise that he wasn’t invincible, that even Natsu could be laid low by illness.

** **

    Gray shifted, switching the hand he was using to cool Natsu yet again and wondering what on earth was keeping Wendy as it felt like hours since he had sent Happy to fetch her. He was just contemplating trying a more drastic measure to bring the fever down, as his ice while soothing seemed to be having little actual impact on the heat itself, when he heard a clatter from downstairs, followed by Wendy’s voice.

“Gray-san? Natsu-san?”

“We’re up here Wendy!” He shouted, realising that she probably hadn’t been here before, but trusting that she would be able to track the sound of his voice as he didn’t want to leave Natsu. However, he did yank his free hand back as he heard footsteps on the stairs, not wanting to explain to the others why he had been petting the Dragon-slayer’s hair. There was no way he was removing his other hand though, replenishing the ice just as Wendy, with Carla and Happy close on her heels entered the room, her eyes going wide as she took in the state that Natsu was in. “He’s burning up, and my ice doesn’t seem to be enough to combat it,” Gray explained as he beckoned her close. “And he hasn’t woken at all since I arrived.” He didn’t think that brief whisper counted, as Natsu seemed as unresponsive and unaware of his presence as ever.

“Natsu-san?” Wendy called as she approached, wincing as she felt the heat coming off the Fire mage, her gaze flicking to Gray’s fingers as he replenished his ice yet again and the worry in her eyes seemed to intensify. “Natsu…” She began again, not really expecting a response after the first time, but she had barely got the first word out, coming up alongside Gray as she did so, when a low growl rang through the room, coming from the unconscious Dragon-slayer. The four of them froze, staring wide-eyed at Natsu who seemed oblivious to what was happening, growling again as Wendy tried to reach for him and she froze, exchanging a startled look with Gray. The Ice mage hadn’t forgotten what had happened in the guild and trying to bury the hurt the reaction cause he began to pull away, not wanting to hurt Natsu.

    However, he had barely moved his hand away before Natsu moved restlessly, flinging his head towards Gray, his expression twisted with distress as he whimpered softly. Gray froze at the sound, unable to bear hearing such a noise from the Fire mage and tentatively he reached out again, returning his hand to its previous position, and Natsu immediately settled, even pushing into the touch. Caught up in his relief, he missed Wendy’s quiet gasp or the way she was glancing wide-eyed between them, understanding and a hint of a blush developing in her face.

“Gray…”

“Can you help him?” Gray cut across her, seemingly oblivious to her reaction and discomfort, not looking away from Natsu as he ran icy fingers over the Dragon-slayer’s forehead.

“I don’t think I can,” Wendy admitted nervously, forcing herself to step forward as she reached out with glowing hands, letting her magic wash over Natsu, unsurprised this time when he growled at her proximity. “This is part of being in season. It’s a reaction to not allowing himself go near his mate, because from what Grandine said, just being close to them during this time, even if nothing came of it, could help stabilise their condition,” she explained, taking half a step back as Natsu growled again, not wanting to stress him further and Gray sighed at her words. He didn’t understand. Why was Natsu doing this? Why would he make himself this ill, if something as simple as hanging out with this ‘mate’ could help?

_Idiot, why haven’t you reached out to them…?_

“So, we need to work out who his mate is?” He asked with a sigh. So, much for escaping that discussion, and for a moment he wished that he’d gone with his original plan and just taken a job. It wasn’t that he didn’t care, or that seeing Natsu laid low like this wasn’t unnerving, but now he was going to be roped into something that he very strongly felt wasn’t his concern. He was started when he heard Wendy sigh behind him, glancing across at he, startled to find that she was staring back at him with a strange combination of amusement, frustration and confusion and he blinked. “What?”

 “Um…” She hesitated, and he blinked, further confused when she seemed to blush and look away, seemingly unable to hold his gaze. Unaware that right then she was desperately wishing that Erza or Lucy were there, as they would probably have caught on by now and would be much better equipped to explain this to Gray than she was. She looked up meeting his gaze once more, only to groan at whatever she found in his expression, but before he could demand an answer, ignoring the glare he could feel from Carla, she had continued. “I think… I think that it might be you.”

    The words hung in a heavy silence for a few seconds as Gray just stared at her, watching as the red in her cheeks became more pronounced. The moment broken by a startled gasp from the silence as Happy finally realised what Wendy was implying, and it cut through Gray’s shock, and he dragged his wide-eyed stare away from her to look at Natsu.

“Me…?” _There was no way,_ he wanted to protest, staring disbelievingly at Natsu, not sure what he was feeling right then. The was no way it was him. There was no way the flame-brain could like him in that way, was there? He couldn’t see it. Sure, they had become a lot closer especially since they’d ended up on the same team, and they didn’t fight as much, although a large part of that was due to fear of what Erza would do to them, but that made them friends. He frowned, wondering what on earthland had put that thought into Wendy’s head, as he turned his attention back to the younger Dragon-slayer and shook his head. “There’s no way it’s me, we’re teammates and rival nothing more,” he explained with absolute certainty, but Wendy didn’t subside or agree as he’d been hoping. Instead, she shook her head fiercely.

“It is you.” She inched closer to Gray, triggering another growl from the unconscious Dragon-slayer on the bed, and Gray could feel the colour draining from his face. “See? And that’s probably why he’s stayed away and made no attempt to claim you…he must’ve realised that you felt this way.” The dismay was clear in her voice, and Gray felt lost as he glanced between them, and Wendy sighed as she stepped back. “But at this point the only one that can help him is you.”

“Me? What can I do?” He demanded, not really liking where the conversation was going, or the expectations that he could feel settling on his shoulders. His scowl darkening as he realised that Mira must’ve known too, and that was why she had been so insistent that he come out here, although he didn’t have a clue how she had worked it out ahead of him. “Wendy, I…”

    Wendy hesitated, worried about what could happen if she said the wrong thing right now, but there was little that she could do as the decision had to rest in their hands and she sighed. “It’s up to you what happens now,” she settled for saying softly, feeling sorry for Gray as he looked more panicked than ever. “Natsu’s not in any condition to make that kind of choice right now, and he wouldn’t anyway. It’s always up to the mate whether they want to accept being chosen, so you need to decide what you want. And Gray…?” She paused, waiting until he focused on her, before adding grimly. “It has to be what you want. It’ll make things worse for both of you if you make the wrong decision now.” It hurt to admit that, but she had seen the uncertainty in his expression and knew that he believed what he’d said about them being nothing more than teammates and rivals. And as much as she wanted him to reciprocate Natsu’s feelings and spare the Dragon-slayer the pain of being rejected, she knew that Natsu wouldn’t want that if it meant that Gray was unhappy.

   She wished that she could give him more advice, or that there was something that she could say that would make it easier for both of them, but it was literally up to him now, and she reached out, patting him on the arm and wincing as the gesture drew another growl from Natsu. Then she reluctantly pulled herself away, shooing the Exceeds out ahead of her, leaving Gray and Natsu alone with a last, pleading glance over her shoulder.

_Natsu…_

**

     Gray wasn’t sure how long he remained there, sitting immobilised at Natsu’s side, no longer touching the Dragon-slayer as he buried his head in his hands. _How the hell did this happen? When did it happen?_ He was wracking his brain, searching for a moment where things had changed between them, but to his mind, it seemed like nothing had changed. They had fought the day before all this had kicked off, and Natsu had been his usual loud, annoying self, doing everything he could to rile up the Ice Mage. There had been no indication of something more, and yet here they were, and as much as he wanted to hide from what was happening and deny Wendy’s words, he couldn’t, because there hadn’t been a single hint of uncertainty in her voice or expression. And he couldn’t ignore the fact that Natsu had blatantly responded to her presence, and it explained the growling in the guild as Gray had been surrounded by other people at the time.

_Gods…_

     This wasn’t what he had expected or wanted by coming out here, and he knew without a doubt that he couldn’t be what Natsu needed or wanted right now. There was no way he was ready for commitment on the level that was required here, but it was more than that, and he sighed as he lifted his head so that he could study Natsu. He was worried about the idiot, especially after seeing him in this state, but he just couldn’t see Natsu in that way. He couldn’t… the idiot was a good friend, possibly even a best friend despite the constant fighting, and an annoying rival that Gray needed to keep pushing him forward. _I don’t know what to do. I…_

“G-Gray…” The breathy whisper startled him back into the present just as his thoughts were starting to spiral again, and he jumped, magic flaring before he realised where the voice had come from. Glancing down he realised that Natsu was actually conscious this time, olive eyes open, although they were little more than slits and what little he could was hazy and unfocused. Still, it was more than he’d had so far, and relief flooded him at this small sign of awareness, and despite everything still swirling inside him, he managed an encouraging smile, even as hope surged that maybe Wendy had been overly worried.

“Hey, how are you feeling?” It was a stupid question, the answer written in the lines of pain that hadn’t faded from Natsu’s face, and his ragged breathing, but it was the only thing he could think to ask that didn’t plunge straight into the murky topic hanging over their heads.

    Natsu didn’t reply straight away, blinking slowly and visibly struggling to focus, but when he did Gray found himself pierced by a surprising clear gaze. It was hard not to shy away then, to hide from the searching gaze, and he knew the exact moment that Natsu had found the answer he was looking for because the Dragon-slayer’s expression had crumpled in a way that Gray had never seen before.

“It’s okay,” Natsu’s voice was little more than a whisper, and the defeated tone was painful to hear, but not as much as the next words. “You should go…” It sounded as though the Dragon-slayer was shattering with each word, and Natsu was moving, rolling over with difficulty and presenting Gray with his back, which did nothing to conceal the shudder that went through him. Gray bit his lip, wanting to reach out and somehow make this better, but he knew that would only make things more confusing for both of them, and he sighed as he clutched the edge of the bed.

“It’s me isn’t it?” It wasn’t really a question now, and he knew that Natsu knew or at least guessed his feelings on the matter, but he had to make sure. The violent flinch that wracked the Dragon-slayer a second was an answer in and of itself, and his hands curled into fists. “Natsu, I…”

“I’m sorry,” Natsu cut him off, although he made no effort to turn and face Gray, his gaze remaining locked on the far wall, missing the way Gray had been the one to flinch this time. The regret and yearning in those two simple words striking him with almost physical force, and he swallowed as he caught sight of the tremors that were now working their way through Natsu’s body. He didn’t know how to make this better. He didn’t know how to fix this, and his voice cracked and broke as he tried to find the words to explain.

“I…”

“It’s all right Gray.” He didn’t remember looking away, but at the quiet murmur he glanced back, stunned by the soft voice and understanding words, and startled to find that the Dragon-slayer had lifted his head to look at him. There were pain and longing in the olive eyes, emotions that cut the Ice Mage to the core and left him feeling cold in a way that had nothing to do with his magic. “It’s okay. I knew that you wouldn’t feel the same, it’s why I didn’t say anything,” Natsu continued, resignation and defeat clouding the air between them, and Gray felt as though he had been punched as he caught the tears beginning to glisten in the corner of Natsu’s eyes.

“Natsu…” He began in alarm, utterly unprepared for the sight of the Dragon-slayer beginning to cry and knowing that there was no way he could deal with that right now. There was a brief flash of memory – of a young Natsu crying in the woods because of something that Gray had said, and he closed his eyes, guilt old and new settling into the pit of his stomach. He had sworn back then that he would never make the Fire mage cry again, and yet here was doing just that, and he had no idea how to stop it or how to make it better.

“You should go.”

“But…” Gray knew that he couldn’t return those feelings, but what Wendy had said in the guild suggested that just being close could help, and it wasn’t as though he wanted Natsu to suffer, even if he knew that it would be awkward to stay with the rejection lying between them. Still, he would have done it, even as his stomach churned at the sight of the tears beginning to fall, stumbling to his feet as though some distance would stop them from falling.

“G-Go.” Natsu’s voice cracked and broke, but there was no mistaking the plea in the order or in the watery gaze that met his for a moment, and Gray nodded numbly as he took one step back and then another, feeling as though something irreparable was tearing with each stumbling step.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered, at last, feeling his own eyes beginning to sting as Natsu flinched violently at the apology, and he swallowed back another one as he headed for the door. He paused in the doorway to look back, still struggling to just walk away from a friend in need, sorrow flooding him as he realised that Natsu had rolled over to face away from him again, and with a quieter, broken apology he turned and fled.

    Wordless apologies rushed through his mind as he tore through the house, feeling a cutting sense of loss as he closed the door behind himself, his head bowed in grief. Outside he nearly faltered, glancing back at the house, before he took a deep breath and forced himself to keep going, breaking into a run, as though the ghost of his decision was on his tail. And maybe it was…and as he headed back towards town, back towards the guild, he decided that he would grab a job from the board and just go. Maybe, with time and space, they could come back from this…at least he hoped they could, because he didn’t want to lose his friend over this, and he didn’t want to hurt him by staying close while Natsu recovered.

**

    Despite the tears that had already been streaming down his cheeks before Gray had left, Natsu had mostly managed to hold himself together until he heard the distant click of the front door as it closed quietly behind the Ice Mage. The soft thud of wood against wood ringing in his ears like a death knell, which was hammered home as he listened to Gray breaking into a run on the path outside, and at that moment the last thread of control he had snapped. An agonised noise, neither human nor animal, bubbled up as he curled into a tight ball, violent sobs shaking his entire body, as defeat washed over him. A deep void opening in his heart, as the faint hope that he’d harboured all this time, the spark that he had been clinging to as the heat from his season threatened to devour him, spluttered and died in the face of his mate’s rejection.


	3. Chapter 3

 

 

    Gray hadn’t been able to fun fast enough to escape the terrible, haunting noise that Natsu had made after he’d left, and he had a feeling that it would be a long time if ever that he was able to forget it. It had cut into him, burrowing deep until it felt like it had become a part of him. _I have to leave._  He had already decided, but this hammered it home because he knew that neither of them would be ready to face each other after this. It didn’t make it any easier, and his eyes were burning as he forced himself to go faster, although he stubbornly refused to let them fall. He knew that he might have lost a friend today, and he knew that he couldn’t have given a different answer, not right now, and not in the face of what was being asked. Not without hurting them both. But he knew that he had hurt Natsu all the same, that he had taken something from him, something that might never be regained, and he knew that he had failed, stray tears trickling down his cheeks even as he squeezed his eyes shut.

_I’m so sorry, Natsu…_

*

      He could feel the eyes boring into him when he finally entered the guild a short while later, glad that he had managed to get his emotions back under a shaky mask as he forced himself to look up. Unsurprised to find that Wendy was studying him, hope written across her face, an expression reflected on Mirajane’s face, and his gaze skittered away, only to meet Gajeel’s burning gaze. The older Dragon-slayer knew. It was written in his scowl, and the way his eyes narrowed as Gray met his gaze. It was a challenge, and a threat and Gray’s shoulders slumped, knowing that he wasn’t going to be allowed to hide from what had happened. Almost grateful for it, although it was still hard to turn his attention back to Mira and Wendy, hesitating for a second before he shook his head, unable to look away as their expressions fell. Wendy was the worst, her expression crumpling as tears formed in her eyes, and he lowered his gaze, struggling not to flinch as he heard Gajeel’s growl from behind him.

   _I’m sorry._ His apology wasn’t for them, because as much as their reactions hurt, all he could think about was the noise that Natsu had made as he walked away. It was that he focused on as he gritted his teeth in the face of their reactions, keeping his head high as he walked across to the job board, aware of the quiet spreading around him as the rest of the guild realised that something was going on. He didn’t look left or right as he reached the board, snatching the first request he spotted that would allow him to be gone for a few weeks, not caring about the details or the reward. Wordlessly he made his way across to the others, thrusting the sheet out towards Mira, who reluctantly accepted it with a trembling hand.

“Gray…”

“Please, don’t…” He pleaded, as the image of a weeping Natsu flashed through his mind once more, shaking his head as he met her gaze. Her eyes widened at whatever she found in his expression, before she nodded, crumbling the job request between her fingers.

“Be careful.” He could tell that she wanted to say a lot more, and the sorrow in her voice was another blow to his heart, but he would take it, inkling his head before all but bolting for the door. Desperate to get away from the sad and accusing eyes that he could still feel boring into him, and the memory of Natsu’s broken expression and that awful, haunting noise, praying that his time away would allow them all to heal if only a little.

**

“Natsu-san,” Wendy was the first to break the silence that had fallen as they’d watched Gray practically flee from the guild, and she knew that he was running from much, her eyes stinging as the tears began to fall. Sniffling and swiping at them in a futile attempt to wipe them away, she turned to look at Gajeel, knowing that he was the only one who would understand the full impact of what had happened, unsurprised to see the way his arm had tightened protectively around Levy. This was something that cut too close for both of them, a grief that they shared with Natsu, even as they couldn’t fully understand it.

    Gajeel met her gaze over his mate’s head, and she could see the anger in his eyes and the understanding because as much as they hated what had happened, they knew it had to be Gray and Natsu’s choice. It didn’t stop it from hurting. And she could see the desperate relief in his expression as he glanced at Levy, knowing that he was imaging what it would’ve been like if the Solid-script mage had rejected him, and she had to look away. She was happy for them and relieved that she wasn’t going to have to watch him suffer too, but she dreaded seeing the same melancholy that had plagued her mother take hold of Natsu.

“Wendy?” Mira stepped forward. “Is there anything that we can do to help Natsu?” When Wendy turned to look at her, there was no missing the guilt in her expression as the older girl stared down at the job flyer crumpled in her hands. This was something that she could help with, and it was almost a relief to close the distance between them and wrap her arms around Mira. “You’re not to blame for this,” she whispered fiercely, although she couldn’t keep the waver from her voice. “You couldn’t have known that it was going to end like this.”

“But I sent him to see Natsu because I guessed that he was Natsu’s mate.”

“And I told Gray that it was his choice,” Wendy pointed out.

“Blaming yourselves isn’t helping anyone,” Gajeel interjected, making them both jump as he and Levy joined them by the bar, the anger fading from his expression as he added. “And even if Gray hadn’t gone to Natsu, the end result would have been the same.”

“But…”

“As for the Salamander, we’re just going to have to leave him be until the end of the week. Between what happened between him and Gray, and the effects of being in season he won’t be able to cope with any visitors,”

“And afterwards?”  Levy was the one to ask.

“He won’t be the same.”

****

    It was three days. Three long, torturous days after Gray’s disastrous visit, that Natsu finally felt the intense heat beginning to fade from his body. It was a slow process, his body trying to cling to the effects of season, still hoping that their mate would come. He wished that he could tell it that it was a false hope, feeling the same creeping despair that had lingered beneath the heat these last few days surging to the forefront as he rolled over and buried his face into his pillows. _Gray…_ his fingers tightened in the material, as he felt the flames fading away, leaving him exhausted and limp, and nowhere near as empty as he’d hoped. Because with the loss of the physical pain, he was left with no choice but to let his thoughts drift to the conversation he’d been trying so desperately to forget and to confront what had happened.

It hurt.

     His eyes beginning to burn with a different kind of fire, he pressed his face deeper into the pillow, trying to drown out the noise as heaving, broken sobs began to rock his body once more. The force of it ignited every nerve that had been set on edge by the fire that had consumed him, and it hurt, but it was a welcome kind of pain. Easier to bear than the raw, ragged wound in his heart, but not enough to distract him from it, or from the thoughts that spilt out from it.

     He’d known or at least suspected all along that Gray wouldn’t return his feelings, because as far as they’d come from the rivals that were sometimes only a step above enemies as children, there was still a distance between them despite his own feelings. However, he’d hoped that despite that, he would be able to come through this with their friendship untouched. It was why he had gone so far to try and keep everything hidden away, isolating himself and trying to endure the flames alone, all so that he could avoid temptation. Terrified that between the press of the flames, and the hope that couldn’t entirely be silenced, he would try and reach out and mess everything up. But then Gray had come to him, seeking him out, and for one tiny, shining moment he’d actually dared to let himself hope that maybe he’d been wrong and that maybe, just maybe Gray might be able to feel the same.

    Perhaps that was why it had hurt so much because he had allowed himself to hope if only for a second.  _No,_ he knew that it would have hurt, even if he’d been able to convince himself that there was absolutely no hope, but it had made it worse. Even as he’d realised his error the moment Gray had finally spoken up in reply, able to hear the fear, and the regret in his friend’s voice, that brief spike of hope, becoming a cold ball of dread in his stomach.

_And now everything is ruined…_

    Gray was gone, practically fleeing from his house and from the decision that Natsu had never wanted to place on his shoulders, and the feelings that he hadn’t returned. And Natsu…

    He laughed a raw, broken sound as he slowly pushed himself up away from the pillowing, the noise giving way to sniffles as he reached up and swiped a shaky hand across his eyes. The tears beginning to fade now, as a hollow feeling took root in his chest, clawing it's way deeper until it felt as though it was going to consume him. He could still feel the pull towards Gray, the need to protect his chosen, and he knew that would always linger, a reminder of what he could have had and what he’d lost. Yet now it was tainted, corrupted by the mocking voice of his draconic half. It didn’t have words, but it didn’t need them, and there was an ache amidst the hollowness.

_Weak._

_Unwanted._

_Unnecessary._

    His inner dragon didn’t need words, his own mind quick to supply them and he closed his eyes, unable to refute any of them. After all, why else would he have been rejected? _No, that’s not what Gray…_ There was a flicker, an ember of his usual defiance shining through, but it wasn’t enough against the emptiness engulfing him, and his protest was fleeting.

_I wasn’t enough._

     Opening his eyes, finding no refuge in his own mind, his gaze drifted across to where his scarf sat folded up on the bedside table. _Igneel._ What would his father think of him now? He wondered, his mind drifting back to when Igneel had first taught him about how Dragons and Dragon-slayers went into season when the time came for them to find their mates. It had been nearly a year after Igneel had taken him under his wing, the conversation coming about because Natsu had one day got it into his head, with all the innocence of a child to ask whether Dragons could get married like humans could.

_“Igneel?” Natsu asked, his nose scrunched up as it always did when he was thinking hard about something, unblinking as he gazed up at the Dragon from his current nest in the curl of Igneel’s tail, fingers absently playing with a rough-edged scale._

_“Hmm?” Igneel glanced down at him, a fond expression on his face as he realised the child was fighting the pull of sleep, knowing that he should let Natsu sleep, but keen to encourage his questions at the same time._

_“Do Dragons get married too? Like those people we saw in the village last week?” Natsu took the noise as encouragement, sleep forgotten as he leaned forward eagerly. He’d been fascinated by the wedding they’d observed from a safe distance with his father explaining that it was a human ceremony and what it meant, although he’d been disappointed when Igneel’s claws had wrapped around him, keeping him from the delicious food on offer. It hadn’t occurred to him at the time, and he wasn’t sure why it had now, but he had never encountered another Dragon, and he knew that there had to be female Dragons out there was well, and Igneel deserved someone who made him as happy as that couple in the village had looked._

_Igneel blinked, startled by the sudden question as it had seemed like Natsu had forgotten his fascination, and he paused, wondering just how he should take the conversation that would ensue if he answered the question. After all, Natsu was still very young, and it wasn’t really necessary for him to know about such things yet. However, a sense of unease rose at the thought of diverting his charge’s attention, and he sighed, realising that he at least needed to give the child the basics._

_“Dragons don’t get married in the same way that humans do,” he said, at last, Natsu crawling up to sit on his back as he realised that Igneel was going to give him a proper answer to his question, small hands clinging to one of the ridged spikes to hold himself in place. “Every Dragon, and Natsu…” He paused, making sure that the boy was listening before continuing. “This applies to Dragon-slayers like you too.” That earned him a scowl for the ‘dragon-slayer’ part because his adopted son still didn’t like the idea that his magic could be used to hurt Igneel or any other Dragon for that matter, but that was an ongoing discussion and one for another time._   _“Has a mate, someone out that we are drawn to above all others.”_

_“So, we don’t get to choose?” Natsu demanded, distracted from being called a Dragon-slayer, pouting at the thought that he wouldn’t get a choice in the matter and Igneel huffed a laugh at the reaction as the small boy bristled in indignation._

_“No, we don’t,” he agreed, lowering his head until it was on a level with Natsu. “But that’s not a bad thin Natsu, believe me. Because the person that where are drawn to is the only person we would ever feel that way towards. They complete us in a way that no one else ever could.”_

_“Do you have a mate, Igneel?”_

_“Unfortunately, I have yet to find my mate,” Igneel replied, unable to hide his longing or the sadness that came with those words. However, it faded as he glanced down at his child. Having Natsu in his life had eased the loneliness of his unmated state in a way that he could never have imagined, and although it was very different, he wouldn’t change it for the world. Especially as he felt a gentle touch on the tip of his snout, blinking as he realised Natsu had reached out to stroke him in an attempt to offer comfort, and he bared his teeth in a draconic smile. “But there will be a time, when you are older, that you will find your own mate and when that time comes you will have to prove to them that you are the best one for them.”_

_Natsu frowned, not particularly liking the idea of having a mate of his own, especially as it sounded like more trouble than it was worth, but he couldn’t wholly suppress his curiosity. “Why do I have to prove myself? I thought you said that our mate was meant for us, and we were meant for them?” He couldn’t understand why someone would turn away from that, even if he weren’t sure that he like the idea of it, and Igneel sighed. He’d known that this was too much for someone Natsu’s age to fully understand, realising that he would have to have this conversation again and in greater detail when the boy was older, but he could see that Natsu was still waiting for an answer._

_“They are, but sometimes the mate doesn’t return those feelings and if that happens…” He trailed off, his thoughts turning to Grandine, remembering her grief and loneliness when her mate had rejected her and the melancholy that had followed. He hoped that her child would ease that a little, as Natsu had eased his loneliness, even if was a different situation._

_“What? What happens if they don’t like you back?” Natsu asked urgently, seeing the sorrow in Igneel’s expression even if he didn’t fully understand the unusual expression, just knowing that he wanted it gone. Igneel seemed to hesitate for a moment, but then his expression cleared, and he leaned in to nuzzle Natsu._

_“Nothing that you need to worry about right now. And I am certain that when the time comes for you to find your mate, they will return your feelings,” he declared, deciding that he wasn’t going to burden a child with the consequences of a failed mating. Maybe when he was older, he would tell him the truth, although he had meant his words, certain that his child would not fail when the time came, as Natsu had proven again and again how big his heart was. His certainty earned him a toothy grin from his charge, even as Natsu flung himself forward to wrap Igneel’s snout up in a tight hug._

*

   Natsu shook himself out of the memory as a violent shudder wracked him, the reminder of how certain Igneel had sounded back then only helping to drive home the full weight of his failure. His father had been so sure. Even when he’d finally explained the potential consequences of what would happen if Natsu was turned down by his chosen, there had been hope and confidence in his reassurances that it wasn’t something that Natsu would ever need to worry about. _I’m sorry, Igneel,_ he thought. He’d always hoped that he would succeed when the time came and that when he eventually managed to track down the wayward Dragon, that he would be able to stand tall and introduce his mate to Igneel.

It was another dream that had turned to dust.

“I’m so sorry… Gray…Igneel,” he whispered, voice catching and breaking in the middle, praying that wherever Igneel was, he couldn’t see what had become of him. _Please, don’t let him see this…_

Unable to bear the sight of his scarf anymore, or the thought that Igneel might be able to see him reduced to this, he abruptly rolled over so that he was facing away from it. The hollow feeling was spreading, taking hold of him with each shuddering breath, as fresh tears began to slide down his cheeks. He could feel it pulling him under, and for a moment, his stubbornness reared its head, and he tried to pull away from the approaching void. But then his thoughts flashed to how Gray had looked the other night, the words that had been the death knell for his hope and the sound of Gray all but fleeing back into town and his defiance flickered and died. Letting his eyes close, he allowed the emptiness to sweep over him, welcoming the relief it brought, no matter how short-lived he knew it would be.

****

    The guild had been on edge ever since what had happened between Natsu and Gray had become public knowledge, and it had taken all of Gajeel and Wendy’s efforts to stop their worrying guildmates seeking out the other Dragon-slayer. It was hard to make them understand that he had to be alone, because that wasn’t the Fairy Tail way, and it didn’t help that they both wanted to see Natsu for themselves. If only to see just how bad the damage was, although neither of them would admit as much around the others.

     They were given some relief when Lucy and Erza had returned with a grim-faced Makarov in tow because while they had been even more demanding than the rest of the guild put together, the old man had realised that Wendy and Gajeel had a better understanding of the situation that he did. Listening to all sides of the debate, before sternly ordering the rest of the guild to listen to what they were saying and to be patient, pointing out that there was no way that Natsu wouldn’t come back to them when he was ready. After all, the guild was his home and his family. And his words had helped to alleviate some of the tension and relieve some of the pressure the other Dragon-slayers were facing, although they both knew that they had fanned their concerns. Especially, as even Gajeel’s joy at Levy’s decision had been lost in the face of what had happened.

    Erza had been furious when she’d discovered that Gray had taken off on a job. She could accept the fact that the relationship and situation wasn’t something that he’d wanted, but to run away rather than being here to face Natsu when he finally emerged, riled him. It had taken the combined efforts of Lucy and Mira, and quite a few hours to convince her not go after the Ice Mage, and while in the end, she had subsided, she had developed the habit of adopting a murderous expression whenever Gray’s name was mentioned.

   While Lucy, on the other hand, had spent the rest of her time trying to comfort both Mira and Wendy, the former still blaming herself for sending Gray to see Natsu and facilitating the current situation, despite the reassurances from both Dragon-slayers. Wendy was just as inconsolable, because of all of them she was the only one that truly knew how being rejected was going to affect Natsu – not even Gajeel knew that – and that knowledge was haunting her.

****

    The week had drawn to a close, still with no sign of Natsu returning to the guild or even sending word, and as the days stretched on the guild grew more and more restless. The hall itself was strangely quiet, in part because the rowdy Dragon-slayer wasn’t there to start the majority of brawls as usual, but also because no one dared to fill the void that he had left, and they were worried. Every member realising just how much Natsu contributed to even just the everyday atmosphere of the guild, and it fed into their dread at the changes that the other Dragon-slayers were warning them that they would see if…no when Natsu returned to the guild.

    Lucy and Erza had taken to heading out on short jobs, never staying away for more than a day or two before their concern for the Dragon-slayer called them back, but unable to just wait around the guild with the unknown hanging over them. Occasionally Wendy went with them, but her heart wasn’t in it, and more often than not she could be found in the guild, never far from Gajeel and Levy. The two Dragon-slayers remaining adamant in their orders for no one to disturb Natsu until he was ready to come back to them. And Wendy had even gone so far as to plead with Carla to lure Happy back to the guild, knowing that when he did emerge the last thing he’d want would be for the excitable exceed to be all over him.

     From the open door of his office on the second floor, Makarov watched over the guild, the oppressive atmosphere and worried expression on his Children’s faces only serving to exacerbate his own concerns. After Lucy and Erza had come to him, he had been hell-bent on going to check on the Dragon-slayer when he’d returned, and if he was honest, he still wanted to go, but he could hardly go against the orders he’d given his children. Besides, he trusted that Wendy and Gajeel knew what they were doing when they had pleaded with them to leave them alone, knowing that the latter had even gone so far as to physically stopping a few of the brasher members that had tried to ignore the injunction to stay away from Natsu. He just hoped that Natsu remembered that he still had a family waiting for him, and a life to come back to.

 


End file.
